Benefit of the doubt?
How controlling my road rage has me rethinking peace and taking the high road
I was just thinking yesterday, do we even look at each other as human beings anymore or is everyone just a product?
What can I get from you,…with you,… without you… its as if we all exist as a means to an end for someone else. How terrible, how humbling…
It is so evident from the moment you wake up, how we become our own worst enemy. Our feelings and attitude towards self and our surroundings is mirrored almost immediately. Almost literally when you look into your bathroom mirror. When you sigh into a sit up position thinking about what the day holds. Starting from our thoughts down to our words and actions.
When you look at yourself are you kind or do you let opinions of others scar you into constant self criticism? When you meet someone for the first time, do you take them at face value or are you judging them by the shoes they wore, their hair or the style of their jeans? In that moment, are you making assumptions, stereotyping or being in the moment?
Driving got me thinking that far because just like everything we do, how we drive is an is extension of who we are in that moment at least. Are you the one tailgating the person ahead, or do you patiently give someone way at a junction?
Lately I have been trying to apply the case of benefit of the doubt while I am driving — in a way, as a mechanism to control my road rage. I tell myself, maybe the driver is going too slow because the car has a dying engine, or the guy overtaking dangerously is rushing to make a meeting that could save his business. Instead of getting reasonably or unreasonably upset I try and choose the opposite. The part of me that is irritated, wants to flash my lights and overtake, I want to hoot at the rowdy driver… but I think again. Patience is better.
Lately, I have been choosing peace. My own. If I step out of my car and give him a piece of my mind, how would the rest of my day go? Should I just let it go? Then I do, if it means I can put aside the negative emotions to have the kind of day I hope to have before I was rudely interrupted.
Then I apply the same thought process to other areas of my life.
Should I pursue a friendship and not a relationship because I know am not ready instead of pushing myself ? It comes down to those one second decisions that make a difference in your whole day, in your life.
I am not saying, ignore what is in front of you. I am saying make a deliberate decision to respond in kindness even when others did not. Give people a second chance. Give yourself a second chance. Try not to go about life with prejudgments and assumptions. Don’t be eager to let your anger out on someone else. If it soothes your soul, forget about that rude encounter and make an effort to be better than yesterday, than the person who came before you.
Choose the high road, choose peace, choose to give others the benefit of the doubt, starting with yourself. After all, we are all and only human
