How do you find peace in turmoil?
When you are looking for the silver lining
2018 has just begun and I have to say I feel like I have already seen the worst of it. There’s a quote that goes ‘Once you reach rock bottom, the only way is UP!’ Actually it’s from the animation SING said by the character Buster Moon and I always tell my husband that little koala reminds me of him, but now he reminds me of me too. This week has been a mix of emotions, but something new to me that I have not felt before is indifference. I have been going through something tough and what I have felt most profoundly is indifference. I am not sad, I can think clearly but am also not happy. I’m just there and what I have been thinking about constantly is the light.
The time when I will feel joy rising in my chest again and a smile of pure happiness will cross my face. When I feel the kind of comfort that makes my heart a bit warmer and the gladness that comes from a restful night.
All through I have thought about my life, what I can do differently and how I can do it better. How I can make the peace last and how I can make my home and my mind a happy place. To make the best choices for me and my children.
The secret of surviving something hard is staying hopeful. Those things will get better, by holding on to your dreams and seeing them come alive by taking action now to make them possible. I can’t give up. I want more, I’m not nearly where I want to be but am so hopeful, when I think about what I don’t have yet I smile. I get excited. Living in the future is not such a bad thing. Having a vision is not a bad thing. It is sometimes the only way to keep on encouraging yourself that things will be okay.
I have no doubt of my strength and this is just one more thing to build my character. My indifference to me is only a sign that I am tired. I want this chapter to end and I am glad we are finally coming to a close…and whenever something painful ends it only means there’s a new beginning in progress, and boy will it be more beautiful this time.
