Why you, always have to be the first to change
When you’re feeling stuck in life
In Steve Harvey’s book ‘Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man’ he begins by describing women and men and how their behavior communicates different things about their personalities to their potential spouses and partners. In the end the conclusion comes down to a man cannot take a woman seriously until he has found and built himself. I have found that the same is true for women, at least us modern women and perhaps for women from as far back as Eve.
I would say to succeed in any relationship you need to know yourself. What you want from the relationship, the purpose of the relationship and most importantly who you are, because I’ve tried diving into something for the good of someone else and it doesn’t work if you’re not doing it for your own good as well.
Take for instance dating, if you start dating because you fear being an old educated spinster with married sisters it’s an exercise in futility. A painful and pointless experience because you didn’t do it for yourself you did out of fear and to get people to stop talking.
If you start exercising to impress others you’ll probably quit because it’s too much work for the wrong reasons.You didn’t start the regimen with a healthier you in mind, you started doing it so that you could become a local Instagram celebrity, which is you know also fine.This results in one of two things an unhealthy person and a person in an unhealthy relationship. Yes, even, if not especially with yourself.
I have come to the realization that to do anything and to do it successfully it has to mean something to you. So getting married to your baby daddy or baby mama because it’s the right thing to do, won’t work either. No matter what society or the church says.
All I can say is take time to get to know yourself. What do you really want out of life? What matters to you and what gets you excited? Do you want to change your career or study something else? Do you want to live alone? Travel alone? Start a healthy lifestyle or quit that soul sucking job? It’s all up to you, but if you don’t know what you want to do or where you want to go I can guarantee you that you’ll be stuck in the cycle of confusion and self denial.
It’s just the way it is.
Take time for yourself and discover who you really are, own it, then go out and do it. It will be life changing. I can also guarantee that.
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