It’s about time you dumped your married boyfriend

Why he won’t leave his wife for you

I guess this is not a new problem. I have two friends who have been involved with married men and it didn’t end well for either of them. I mean really badly so, I was surprised when one of my girlfriends who had been burned from such a previous relationship told me that she was taking a flight to see her married guy friend who’d invited her to his friend’s resort?!

Like I was speechless. She told me her friend and his wife had been having problems. He’d been staying out late to drink and his wife thought he was having an affair. They’d just had twins and they have a two year old daughter and an older child from a previous relationship. I get it she was tired and cranky and continuously snapping at her husband. It happens when you think you had babies with a responsible man only to be stuck in the house alone.They had serious issues but not for one minute was he considering leaving her or she him.

They insulted each other and apparently she’d left a few times and sought solace elsewhere only to come back with a team of aunties to help her tell him off. It was messed up. Really. I could feel the tension and resentment in their house just from listening to that story. Being in a marriage of my own, I know how bad fights can get between a husband and a wife. So when he started texting dirty, (maybe I’ll just call it sexting) he confessed to my friend he’d not had sex in a while. If you’re reading this from an unbiased perspective you can clearly see what this guy wants from my friend. It’s a shame she’s going. She told me he’s already booked the tickets for her to take a flight so, helpless as she is she’ll just have to go!

Pardon my sarcasm.

Here’s my friends story… she has a beautiful baby girl with a different married man;and no he didn’t leave his wife for her even after she told him she was pregnant and finally delivered. She had hoped he’d come home and introduce himself as the responsible father but It didn’t happen guys. I’m not judging her. I just want her to open her eyes! I’m that friend who’s not going to baby you. It’s a hard fact please acknowledge this. To add salt on a wound my friend still lives with her mother.

She was burned by her married ex boyfriend and she realizes that her now married guy friend and his wife still have some issues to resolve. She really spoke like she understood what’s at stake and wouldn’t make the mistake of sleeping with him and then make a habit of it. I’m just hoping.She’s supposed to go this weekend, so I don’t know what will happen but I think she will make the right choice.

I have another friend. Let’s call her Julia and my first friend is Stella. Julia fell in love with a handsome sometimes Muslim thirty something guy. I met him. He was charming and I even tagged along as a third wheel on their date because she said he wanted to meet who Julia talked about so much.I liked him and I thought he was a solid guy. Until Julia told me she found out a month ago that he was married with three kids. They’d been dating for a while so she was hurt but she was already heavily invested.

Stella’s man also had a daughter with his wife. These are family men. I’m telling you If you just hear “married” run like he said “terrorist”. I will reiterate again, this is not a judgement post. It’s a wake up call post because every time I hear a married relationship story, it doesn’t have a happy ending.

Julia was hurt by her discovery so she confronted him and her boyfriend told her he loved her. He loved her so much that he wanted to make her his second wife, and not only did she believe him she could see it happening too.

Woah.

I thought it was so bonkers I didn’t even say anything at first. I was still soaking in the fact that he was married and she knew and she was still with him. Now a little back story on Julia. She had just started her first year in university. We were the same age and she’d had some issues settling on what she wanted to do with her life so she had been to a few schools. She finally chose architecture and we both thought this was it. Now can you imagine a twenty two year old confused first year becoming a second wife to a cheating husband with three kids and a wife non the wiser? Yeah. She’d have to become a step mum too and possibly change religions. I told you her man was a sometimes Muslim. That means it was at face value. I became even more confused when she told me he also went by a Christian name.

Ugh.

I just told her it was a bad idea from the get go, but too late. She was in love. At the time I was a pregnant fourth year, so who am I to judge. However, when his wife found out he just blocked her. Just like that. Stopped picking her calls and froze her out. It was so sad. I told her to just be thankful,it would make getting over him easier. A few months later he started calling again but I told her to be strong. Freeze him out! He’s not worth your time.

To my knowledge she hasn’t dated anyone since but is still hopeful she’ll meet a cute biracial guy. Married men;these guys have a very bad effect on the women they date. There’s a permanent scarring they leave. Married men are charming, well dressed, they’ve achieved a level of success and confidence that’s so attractive it’s like a gravity pull. Women are just drawn to guys who look like they have it altogether. The truth is, their wives put them together in the morning. She made sure his belt matched his shoes and he had the same pair of socks on. He smells good because his wife likes that cologne and looks sharp because he has a family to provide for. Business deals and senior positions are closed and led by men who look the part. Never forget it ladies!

The best story I ever heard about a married relationship is one where my sister’s friend got involved with a married man and she got a nice apartment and BMW to go with it. To date though, she’s still not married and her parents aren’t exactly pleased with her choice. Her man lives with his wife and his wife is co-director at her place of work. Yeah, she fell for the boss. But that just means that his wife has full control over her livelihood. She could get fired at her say so. It’s a nerve wrecking situation at best.

I would advise single beautiful women who want a steady relationship to first make sure the guy they like isn’t married. I mean if it seems like it could be a possibility then find out before you get a heart ache over it. Second, and probably the best option if you are seeing a guy who is full of potential, he’s your age or around there and has everything but all the money you want right now stick with him. The money will come as he matures because his game will get better. Just make sure you both stay focused on the same goal; and then he’ll be that married guy that all the single girls want. To be on the happy side,make sure he’s in love with you and you love him too, but him more so! A man who is in love with you, like really in love is unlikely to cheat.

Stay woke ladies.