Remembering the people you’ve never met

I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy and it’s season 13 at the scene where Meredith is bracing herself to go and tell Bailey,Karev is the one who assaulted De Luca but before she does, she asks Nathan to sit with her. This is how I got to this topic.

The name Nathan resonates with me. I have an uncle named Nathan. I’ve never met him. He died when I was a toddler. When my brother was born he had a birthmark that reminded my grandmother of him. She wanted him to be named Nathan, but he was named after a different uncle instead. She was looking for a way to remember her son.

I haven’t taken the time to remember him;or my paternal grandfather. My father loved and idolized him. He died when my father was a teenager and it was a crucial time for him. As an adolescent boy growing up in the Luhya tribe of Kenya,the kind of knowledge and lessons a father can teach his son are invaluable. This I believe applies in any father-son relationship. It was a terrible loss for him. My older brother was named after my grandfather. He was called Preston Paul. A really fancy name for a youthful African pastor back in the 1960s.

I would have liked to know him and my uncle. Know the sound of their voices and hear their laughter. To see how my dad would have related with them. Would he be a different man today had his father been alive ?Would he have chosen a different career, lifestyle? I don’t know but parents do have a way of influencing their children’s lives.

My father wanted to become a pilot but he found his calling in business instead.My younger brother however is on his way to becoming a commercial pilot.My mum once said that my uncle had jokes. He was a funny guy and he liked to laugh. It makes me smile when I think about that because now I can give him some character.I think it’s important to remember people who are part of our heritage. My uncle had a daughter whom I now call sister and she carries on his legacy. She has a kindness of heart that I find unnatural and wonderful. She’s the kind of sister you call on for anything. The aim is to pass on what good we’ve learned from others and also to appreciate where we come from. In a world where we are shunning neighbors in need and putting self at the forefront of everything in life, I think we should endeavor to live for more than ourselves and to do so through service to others and when we create our own legacies those we leave behind will keep our memories alive and celebrate us in a nostalgic remembrance.