Setting up a foundation for your marriage
For a few months now my husband and I have been arguing over petty things. Over things that don’t matter. I get in a foul mood but it affects him even more. He can be passive aggressive but most of all hurt. I just ignore issues until I can’t anymore. Which is unhealthy. We’ve been married for a year and on our anniversary we talked a lot about where we are now in our marriage and how we can make the next five years better than the last five. To actually enjoy our present despite external factors like financial constraints, starting a business together and even raising our two girls which can all be challenging and emotionally involving. Coupled with marriage stress, it’s a ticking time bomb between us.
A disagreement spirals into something more. All of the past mistakes creep up and recent frustrations come up in our conversation. One thing leads to another and we go back to square one. Why can’t we just be mature about things? We keep talking about our problems and we think we have come to a solution, but because we didn’t make love last night the sour mood creeps in again. Why didn’t we? Can I answer that question honestly or am I lying to him and myself. I mean is it my fault, what’s the problem?
We don’t have those answers yet. It’s easier to give up but we want to make it work because we’re still in love. Our kids also need both of us. Yes this is a factor to staying together but what’s more while I was reading and watching videos on marriage and how to stay together happily children prefer to be in happy homes separately than in one home unhappily.
Something to think about…
My husband and I, were on this journey together. Were not giving up and even from the information I’ve been getting from women who have been married for several years and listening to podcasts and reading the Bible on the foundational years of marriage; these are the most important years. If you make it through 3–5 years (my dad said 3) you’re bound to last. The same mentality of staying happy together staying constant of course!
